rubbish

I wanna go somewhere farrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr away or just some other place other than here can ? urghh. ): (someone, bring me. please.)

& seriously, i feel like im talking to the wall sometimes. & just urghhhh. ):

i wanna stop feeling like this.

i hope i can go out with SooChing this sun. maybe it will brighten up my day (:

urgh please.

I totally screwed my amaths test today. i will be surprised if i can even get 5/30 ok. & yeah, i did badly in physics too. ha. im like gonna disappoint everyone including myself. damnn. the feeling is really blooody depressing . seriously. i just feel like shit.
i really want to get 6As, but now im like totally doubting this. i feel like it's impossible. :"( i dont know what to do luh.
& there's this totally uneccesary thing that's worrying me. ):
( sometimes, i dislike myself. )


i wanna cry so bad please.
i need a hug.

I love going shopping ! :] andddd i think caucasian boys who skateboard are totally hott. :D

hahhahahaa. ok. this is totally random -.-

there's Amaths test tmr ! ): ): i think i can die right now. i cant memorise those bloody formulas please. i feel so horrible everyday kay. ): (sometimes, i reallyreally wish i've a boyf lo.) urgh, this feeling sucks alotttt. pffft. damn me.

HOW.

i totally hate Chinese lesson okay. ): i've to keep asking the people infront or behind what he teacher means. dunno whether they irritated anot. ):

anyway. CONGRATS TO HELENA & CHONGXIANG !!! :D:D:D
The wholeeee percussion must be super proud of you ! (:
& im super proud of helena :D:D <33
( i dont know the rest of the people result yet, :x so im just talking abt perc one :/ heh. )

This is the only pic of me & Helena.

( next time we shall take more :D )

I dont really feel like going band these days. ha. so @#$%. sometimes it's nice, sometimes @#$& (!!!) ): argh. i wish helena was here la. Then i can complain&complain to her! ): sigh!

i wanna cut my hair soooon. :D haha.

& i think i will look so idiotic & ugly with braces. ):

nvmmmm. only for 2 years?

pffft.i hope it wont look thattttt bad =/

hmph ! >:(

tada!

My bf spastic face! :D:D:D

:x

It's amazing how we can think of someone constantly while that someone doesnt cares/thinks about us. Knowing so, yet we still cant hold back our thoughts and love for that person.

Life was so easy and carefree when we were young. Never having to worry about friendship, love & pain. It was just so happy back then. Times when all we did was play & study. The innocence that we had. Whenever it was a bad day, we knew it would all be okay by tomorrow. But now it's different. Now, now the pain lingers. For days, for months and even years.

Why can't life be so carefree & innocent now.

Why?

I don't think i can forgive myself for the past.

It's so hard to move on. Forgetting the wrongs i have done.

Each night i think about it, i cry.

All i can do is cry, knowing i can never change the past.

Never.

I'm so tired of crying and hurting.

`Suicidal behaviour is not always a wish to die but maybe, a mechanism to communicate pain and a cry for help. - eL

Yesterday was the end of the SuperTeen. i think the workshop was like ___. like the only useful thing was how to study i guess? =/ i dont know. but the workshop was very funny during the three days. really funny. haha :D
but i want my 6/7 A's ! :D
heh

& HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KOKKEONG (my bf) !

heh <3!

may you stay handsome & nice always! :D

glad you like the cake i baked although your stomach was upset =x

HAHA.

We had SuperTeens today.
besides the funny jokes, i find it kinda boring uh. =/
i dont know. & i feel like super sleepy.
hope it's like nicer tmr? hah.
& after hearing what bf said, i wished i had asked my parents not to come at all ok! ): ):
urghh. damn !

anyw, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAREST YANTO ! hope you had a super nice birthday! :D:D:D

<3

I went band for like 1h45min today. =x
&&& When percussion was setting our instruments near the stairs, xunyan appeared. eeew ! @@ sooo, i asked him to GO AWAY. && he looked at me with an weird expression and say no. so i asked bf to ask him get lost. he said 'gun la' . BUT xun yan still give that stupiddddddd weird expression and say no why should he. IT WAS SO FUNNY OK. his stupid expression was so funny ! vannie and i kept laughing. hahah! heh.
After i left from band, i went to meet my mummmy, grandma and aunts. :D We went orchard to shop (!) i think i'm like spending tooo much money. ): but i feel alittle more happy after buying stufffs. sooo, oh well. :)
i wanna shop & shop & shop !!! :D i cant wait to buy the 'boys are dumb' tee , or smth like that. (:

School sucks, home sucks. like totally.
Is there some other place i can escape to.
oh. someone please bring me there.
this sucks shitzxz.

i really wished life was like a fairytale.
sometimes, it feels like it's the end.

:) , :( , >:( , >:) !

i have like ALOT (!!!) to catch up on my studies. ):
what if i cant catch up? how ! )))):
at least it was alittle fun at band today. i guess =/
with Sharon, Dionis, Vannie & SooChing & my bf. :D
ha.
Vannie & SooChing keep saying about that -----
so mean. eeyerh. >:(



& i keep worrying these few days leh. ):
sometimes when i'm feeling like this, i really wished i had a bf. i guess. ):

i fucking hate myself.

There was the cca display thingy today. & Perc had to play for the parade thing. i'm glad we played well :D Ms lai says we played well too! so yay us! :D (but my rolling still suckkkks) ): i didnt do much after that =X oh well. then afterwards, we had to clean all the instrument. but Ms Lai said i dont have to cause i'm the QM, just have to supervise ! hahah! but i still helped abit la. :D heh.

Later, i went to meet my mummy at orchard. i had to buy a new sch bag. my shoulder bag is like killing me. my shoulder will be very pain . so i bought a haversack bag. hahah. easier to carry! :D & for dinner, i ate Sushi Tei with my mummy. and guesssssss what. i felt like puking after that. @#$% ! My mummy ordered the premium eel thingy. & i tried the eel. it made me feel like puking after that. seriously. i dont know whyyy. ): i'm just gonna eat the sushi at Sushi Tei next time. :D not the main courses. i love yummmmmmmmy food!

i miss enjoying the chocolates & sweets secretly during band,with helena . really. ):

i dont like school )))):
&& i sit alone during chinese lessons okay ):
cos Vannie takes higher chinese. pffft.
i cant wait for this year to be like overrrrrr. i guess =/

anyw, I LOVE UTT ! he's sooooooo hot please! :D:D:D:D
when i watched mtv today, and they showed us his house and his dogs.
he is like really cute man. (:

i cant find nice photos of him now. -.- when i find them, i will post the pics (:
he's so hottttt ! :D:D

<3

school ):

HAPPY NEW YEAR, PEOPLE ! :D

may all of you have a super duper great year ! :D

on a suckier note, schoool is starting tmr!!! like wtfffff. sooo freaking fast. shucks. before i know it, will be olevel alr. scary okay. ): howwwwww. i hope i can do it la. like seriously.

then after that, i can playyyyyyyyyyy :D

hope everything will be like better this year (:

i think Gaspard Ulliel is reallly soo efffing hot! <3