why do we always do things that we aren't supposed to do?

i hate your smell.

i hate your cheekily-cute smile.

i hate you.

how i wish i could.

i'm really losing it.

when you said forever&always, you didn't mean it baby.

"It’s the worst feeling in the world to love and hate someone all at the same time. And it’s hard to watch things change when all you want is for them to stay the same. It’s funny but stupid how you want everything & nothing at the same time. It’s crazy when you want to let go, but you keep holding on, and when you want to move on but you’re stuck right where you started. When feelings come and go and you can’t decide what you want. When you have so many things to say but you don’t know where to start. When you want them in your life so bad, but all you can do is push them farther and farther away. It’s so hard to think back to how things used to be and look at it now and realize that things are different and they may never be the same. You tell yourself it’s not worth it, but if it really didn’t matter, you wouldn’t spend so much time thinking about it." - runawaytrain

taken from Yanjie's blog which is from someone else i guess.

anyways,

although it still hurts deeply, i'm getting through each day better now. 

it's 1.57am

okay, i suddenly kinda woke up, felt very angry @IDK what, went to the fridge to get durian and soft drink .

eating now.

i shall go back to sleep after eating.

goodnight.

what's wrong/

this too shall pass.

okay, 

IDK! 

NOTIME!

numb.broken.empty.

may, you can do it (:

now i know.

i need to help myself . 

Thanks everyone who was trying to help me. (:

thanks.

Now, i need to mug my fucking ass off. 

i.do.not.want.to.retain.

i'm not going to give a @#$&@ about any other thing already.

i will try. 

at least.

try.

xoxo.

give me hope.
i love all of you who were there with me. you know who you are (:
i can never in my life ask for better friends.

you know how sometimes the truth is right there in front of you. but you keep denying and thinking otherwise?

is it time to accept the truth and move on? how would i know if it's the right thing to do, how would i know i would not regret and that i have made the wrong choice. 

the feeling. when you believe so much in something, only to find out in the end that it is not the way you thought it was going to be. 

is it worth it, going through all the pain again.

i guess i will feel too numb to care soon.

and i really hope that time comes soon.

never thought that it would be like this again. thinking positive when you know for a fact that it's not and will never be true is just lying to yourself. 

why can't things be right. 

i'm not expecting too much anymore.

but it's still the same.

hate the fact that i'm feeling like this. weak. 

HELLO ! I WATCING CINDERELLA ON ICE TMR (!!!) YAY!
i thought no one would wanna watch with me!? but my classmates want to! :D heh.
woohoo.

bye for now!
xoxo.

yanjie, ur swollen sprained foot! HAHAHHAHAHAHA BIGGER THAN YOU!!! ;X